Playing House
by DancingDaisy
Summary: Two of our favorite CSI's are assigned a case. One's less excited than the other. No pairings, but plenty of teasing and probably some flirting, given the characters who are the main focus. Oh, and no spoilers, 'cause the plot's all mine.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: If you recognize them, I don't own them.**

"You want me to WHAT?" Calleigh shrieked, losing the cool she normally possessed. Horatio remained calm, giving Calleigh time to process the information he had just given her. "This is ridiculous. Why do I have to do it? Why can't Natalia work the case?"

"Because Natalia is still new to the lab, and I don't want her to get overwhelmed if something should happen. This isn't a case for rookies." Horatio replied, hoping Calleigh would quickly return to the professional he knew her to be.

"But why are we even being assigned something like this to begin with? We're CSI's, not detectives." Calleigh had stopped yelling, but she was still in shock. She'd have to completely rearrange her life, to give up the independence she clung to with every fiber of her being.

"Because, Calleigh, the suspect lives in a gated community. The Homeowner's Association refused to grant us permission to investigate the neighborhood, and we need people on the inside. People I can rely on to report back information about the suspect's daily life."

"But I can't possibly pay attention to everything that goes on in the community. We work crazy hours. If I'm not at a scene, I'm in the lab. There's no way that I can work this case unless-" Calleigh froze, searching Horatio's face for the reply she knew was coming. "No," she said angrily. "Horatio," she warned, hoping for a change of mind.

Horatio took a deep breath, trying to delay another Calleigh outburst. "You're being reassigned. Your focus will be this case, and you are not permitted to enter a crime scene unless summoned or this lab unless your request to do so is granted. Calleigh," Horatio began before Calleigh could react. "I need you. I know this isn't what you want, but its what we have to do. I cannot go to one more scene knowing that we could have stopped this guy. Please, do this for the lab, for your co-workers, and for me."

Calleigh opened her mouth to respond, closed it, and then opened it again. "Fine," she answered, sighing.

"Good, now go home. You have the rest of the day off to pack and prepare. I don't have to tell you this, but I need you at 100 per cent." Calleigh turned on her heel and walked down the hall, her heels clicking angrily on the tile floor of the lab. Horatio sighed. It was going to be a long case.

The next morning, Calleigh pulled up to the gate and entered the security code Horatio had given her. She waived to the guard and entered the community. She found the house on her second try. Pulling into the driveway, she noticed that his car was already parked in front of the house. She turned the car off, got out, and walked towards the front door. Letting herself in, she slowly walked around the house, admiring the designer furniture that filled the rooms. _So this is how the other half lives,_ she thought. She walked into the master bedroom, seeing his suitcases sprawled across the bed. She left the room and walked across the hall into another bedroom. She sighed with relief when she saw a queen-sized bed in the center of the room. _Good, _she thought._ We can have our own rooms._ She returned to the master bedroom and moved the suitcases into the other bedroom. She left the house and went to her car to begin unloading it. Leaning into the back seat to grab her cross-stitch materials, she felt arms circle her hips.

"Hey hon," a deep male voice greeted her.

In one fluid motion she backed out of the car, stood up, turned in his arms and gently pushed him away. "Eric," she exclaimed irritably.

"Hey, we're supposed to be newlyweds. You know," he paused to wiggle his eyebrows, "all over each other."

"In your dreams, Delko," Calleigh replied, picking up a few bags and walking into the house. Eric laughed, picked up a few of her bags and followed her.

"Come on, Cal," he said when he reached the foyer. "I was just messing with you."

"Wipe your feet," Calleigh commanded in return.

Eric followed her and smiled when she entered the master bathroom. "So you want to sleep with me, huh? I knew you couldn't resist-- hey! Where's my stuff?"

"Across the hall."

"But I put them in here!"

"And I'm calling this room. I'm the female, I should get the bigger room."

"Are you pulling the gender card, Ms. Duquesne?"

"If it gives me the bigger room, then damn straight I am."

"But we're supposed to be married. That means one room." Eric winked at Calleigh.

"Not going to work, Delko. I've worked with you for too long. Your attempts at charm fall on deaf ears."

"Fine. We'll draw for the room."

"What?"

"First one to draw their gun on the other gets this room."

"Are you serious?" Calleigh was shocked. "Fine, then get ready to lose."

They both put the bags down and stood facing each other. "One, two, three!" Eric exclaimed. Eric's gun was pointing at Calleigh before she realized what had happened. Her gun had gotten stuck in her holster, leaving Eric the clear winner.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath.

"What in the **hell** is going on here?" A booming voice interrupted them, making both Eric and Calleigh jump.

"Horatio," Calleigh greeted, guiltily readjusting her gun in its holster.

Eric closed his eyes and then turned around to face his boss, returning his gun to its holster. "H.," he nodded a greeting. "We, ah, we were 'drawing' for the use of the master bedroom."

"In the living room, **now**." Horatio commanded, gesturing for Calleigh to lead the way. Horatio stood in the hallway for a few seconds, trying to collect his thoughts. He was shaking with anger. What had gotten into them? They had ignored the basic rule of guns over a _bedroom_?

Calleigh and Eric reached the living room and sat down quietly in the living room. They were in trouble and they knew it. Neither could remember a time when Horatio had raised his voice at anyone. Horatio soon entered the room and stood in front of them, hands on his hips, looking down at them intensely. "Horatio, I can explain," Calleigh began.

"No, you can't. You two had guns pointed at each other over a **bedroom**? You two know better. You both know that you never, **ever**, point a gun at someone unless you intend to use it. What if one of the guns discharged?"

"Our safeties were on, H." Eric defended himself and Calleigh.

"I'm not finished yet," Horatio replied in a steely voice. "On top of pointing guns at each other, you guys could have jeopardized this case. What if a neighbor had seen you two? I'll let it go this time, but only because I know that you two know better and that you will never repeat this episode. Now let's go Eric. Calleigh, the case file is on the breakfast bar." Horatio walked out the front door.

"What?!?" Calleigh yelped.

"I have to go to work, dear." Eric smiled. "Someone's gotta pay the mortgage and take care of you in the manner to which you've become accustomed." He winked at her. "Don't forget to return my suitcases to the master bedroom. It **is** my room now. As he reached the front door, he turned around. "Oh, and Calleigh, my favorite dinner is Arroz con Pollo. I'm sure my Mom will give you the recipe. Now that you're taking care of her baby boy and all." He laughed as he pulled the door closed.

"Jerk!" Calleigh yelled, throwing a decorative pillow at the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: If you recognize them, I don't own them.**

**A/N:** _Most of this story will take place in the house that Calleigh and Eric share. I'm not comfortable enough to write about crime scenes and lab stuff. That may change, though. CSI: Miami is on **all the time** where I live (lol), so I'm able to do lots of research. Oh, and I'm still undecided about the "no pairings" thing. If enough people want it, I might put Calleigh and Eric together, because I'm writing this for you guys. Thanks for the reviews!_

**Spoiler:**_ Okay, I lied in the summary. There's a spoiler in this chapter. Its um..."Skeletons" from season 4._

Calleigh sat and sulked on the couch in the living room for a while, and then gave up. She got up and walked into the kitchen. She picked up the file on the breakfast bar, and then changed her mind, putting it back down. She poured a cup of coffee, and walked into the master bedroom. Deciding to ignore the outcome of the challenge, she began unpacking her suitcases, hanging her clothes up in the massive walk-in closet and unpacking her toiletries in the master bath. She smiled when she saw the jacuzzi bathtub, and promised herself she wouldn't step foot in the tub for fear that her beloved bathtub in her condo would cease to be her beloved after one soak in this one. Besides, it wasn't as though she would need the jets to massage her stress away. There was nothing to stress her out. She was now a housewife with none of the worries most other housewives had. She was getting paid to lay around the house all day and butt into other people's business. Okay, so the arrangement wasn't that bad, it just wasn't what she had expected. Calleigh had no sooner finished unpacking her belongings when her stomach growled. An investigation of the kitchen revealed no food. Calleigh sighed and left the house on her first mission as a homemaker. At least grocery shopping was something she enjoyed.

Meanwhile, Eric's good spirits had disappeared as soon as he got into the H2. Suddenly being a housewife seemed much more fun than going to crime scenes. He quietly stared out the window, marveling at the houses and sadly realizing that unless he married into it, he would never own a house like the one he and Calleigh were "living" in.

"So, uh, are you and Calleigh going to be okay on this assignment?" Horatio's voice interrupted Eric's thoughts.

"What? Oh, yeah. We'll be fine. H., I'm really sorry. We obviously weren't thinking back there, and we're both really competitive, and it just kind of happened."

"No worries. Just don't let it happen again. Try to behave yourself, Eric. Calleigh's angry enough as it is, so please don't do anything to agitate her. I don't need to investigate the death of a CSI." Horatio couldn't fight the smile as he thought about Calleigh unleashing her frustration over being unable to work crime scenes and having to play the dutiful wife.

"You don't have to tell me twice. I'm not pissing anyone off who's known as 'bullet girl' and who spends a ridiculous amount of time at shooting ranges."

"No girls, either, Eric." Eric's silence and slight intake of breath told Horatio that Eric hadn't had that realization yet.

"So? I can last a couple weeks without a date." Eric tried his best to sound nonchalant, knowing he failed miserably.

Horatio chuckled. "We'll see. We will see."

Calleigh returned home and unloaded the groceries. She had bought more than she had originally planned on buying, because half-way through the store, she realized that it was rude to buy food only for herself. She tried to pick up things that Eric would eat, but she didn't know what foods he liked to have in the house. Feeling guilty that she didn't know his favorite foods (other than the take-out he ate while working), she decided to make him dinner. She wasn't about to call his Mother and ask for the chicken and rice dish Eric had laughingly suggested, as she wasn't sure she could properly explain why she was cooking dinner for Mrs. Delko's beloved baby boy, and she was still a little scarred from her last encounter with Eric's Mom. After she put the groceries away, she turned on the television, but she couldn't find anything on that interested her. _When did daytime TV start to suck, s_he wondered to herself. She gave up and turned off the TV. She poured a second cup of coffee and opened the case file.

John Barthelemy had lived in the neighborhood for the past ten years. While no DNA tied him to the scene, he had been seen with several of the victims before each girl had turned up dead. The girls who weren't lucky enough to have witnesses had died the same way the others had. Eight prostitutes had been strangled in hotel rooms and all had been tied to the bed. While it was difficult to prove rape in the women because of their profession, the CSI's had their suspicions that the women had been violated. No one was willing to believe the other prostitutes who had described John Barthelemy to a T, with the exception of Horatio. _The patron saint of those society has dropped between the cracks,_ Calleigh thought with a smile. John Barthelemy had managed to avoid arrest because of the witnesses' lack of credibility, and Horatio was bound and determined to bring the guy in. While Calleigh wasn't supposed to follow his every move, she **was** supposed know his schedule and, according to Horatio's handwritten note in the file, get to know Susan, his wife. Susan Barthelemy was not a suspect, but she had to be suspicious that something was going on. Calleigh couldn't believe that a wife would be that clueless to her husband's state of mind. Calleigh continued to read over the file, committing as much as she could to memory. She looked up at the clock and was shocked to see that it was already four o'clock. Eric would be home in a couple of hours. _Home,_ she thought wryly. _How quickly I've gotten used to referring to our assignment as "home."_

Calleigh stood up and stretched. She walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed the fixings for a salad. She pulled a loaf of garlic bread from the freezer and pre-heated the oven. After putting the bread in the oven, she began chopping vegetables and hummed to herself. She finished the salad and put it into the fridge. She checked on the bread and the jumbalaya that had been stewing in the crock pot all day. Deciding to continue her good deeds, she walked into the guest room and began unpacking Eric's clothes.

Eric walked into the house and was hit by the smell of the food that Calleigh had been working on all day. "Honey, I'm home," he called, his laugh echoing off the walls.

"Hello, dear," Calleigh teased back. Eric followed the smell into the kitchen and and to the crock pot. He began to lift the lid, trying to figure out what smelled so good. "Get out of dinner!" Calleigh called, still in the guest room.

"Damn," Eric swore under his breath. He left the kitchen and followed Calleigh's voice to the guest room. "Decided to follow the rules for once?" Eric asked.

"Not exactly," Calleigh replied.

Eric saw what Calleigh meant. "Calleigh, why are you hanging up my clothes in this room?"

Calleigh turned around, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Hanging up your clothes, honey. That's what housewives do."

"Calleigh," Eric whined. "This is your room. You lost the bet. I get the master bedroom. It has the jacuzzi!"

"Don't whine, its not attractive." Calleigh replied, not rising to the bait. She slid past him and walked into the kitchen, and began setting the table for dinner.

"Unbelievable," Eric said, rolling his eyes. He walked into the master bedroom. Sure enough, Calleigh had completely taken over the room. "Why couldn't Natalia have been assigned to the case?"

Calleigh returned to the bedroom. "Because Horatio doesn't want any CSI babies," She said brightly, winking at Eric.

"Low blow, Duquesne, low blow."

"Besides, who's to say Natalia wouldn't have taken over the master bedroom, too? Or would you not have cared because you would have been in the same room? Now come eat. I've been slaving over a hot stove all day." Calleigh smiled and returned to the kitchen.


End file.
